as someone who is not as verbally expressive about their work as other artists, I decided it was best for me to reflect on some of my work after it was finished. this will be an archive of comments on my process and thoughts and reactions to the work.

 

if you’ve never read Harold and the purple crayon, I suggest you read it. then come back and observe collaboration with Harold and his purple crayon.

i have no particular thoughts on this piece. it is a product of intuition, impulse, and experiment, which is a process that i value and use to produce all my work. i titled it finally a change in the weather as it reminded me of the turn of the seasons here in ny. after a period of hot weather and up and down weather, there seems to be a steady cool front moving in as we move into the autumn season.

(if you ask me i’m ready reflection)

albert oehlen is an artist i do not follow actively but i am familiar with the style of his work. i had a professor tell me that i should see a show of his because it reminded her of my particular style. i can definitely see where she sees this. this work was produced without seeing the show. obviously after she mentioned his name, his work was in my mind: the different size brushstrokes, the colors, the forms, etc. i feel that the work i produce is inspired from my observations (of anything and everything) and my inner self (aka the mind and body). i believe deep down my work is more psychological and emotional than i credit it. i am interested in learning more about the psychology of art, especially abstract art. i am also interested in my own behaviors and my mind and how and why i do the things i do. until i can definitively answer these questions or have some form of an answer to these questions, there is nothing more i can say about this work. the best thing i could advise would for me to video record me working because that way you can visually observe the way i work. watching an artist work, especially an artist who creates expressive works, can be quite beneficial to understanding both the artist and the artwork. honestly, i would advise every artist to video record themselves working. it can be useful to understanding how one works and how one thinks in that particular moment.

(figure in the garden reflection)

when i was in undergrad, i would create abstract figurative works. most - all - depicted women, usually placing emphasis on the body. there was a question as to if i was objectifying these women, even though they had no faces. it was just abstracted female bodies, with emphasis on the natural curves of women. at the time i was having this moment with a view of my own body and how it compared to other women’s bodies. what made other women’s bodies more valuable than my own? ANYWAYS, PAINTING THESE ABSTRACTED FIGURES was almost like phase. i had always created abstract expressionist work but i started to notice that the particular style was being overshadowed by the resurgence of figurative work and portraiture. now i knew i couldn’t paint or draw a face to save my life, so opted for figurative painting because i felt there was this obsession i had with women’s bodies. i didn’t care too much for the face or the entire body, but the particulars of the stomach and the arms and the thighs. basically parts that can make a women feel the most vulnerable. anyways i did abstract figurative work for a while until i graduated and went back to my roots in abstract expressionism. now i bring this up because it was never my intention to establish a figure in my work. i just wanted to focus on lines, curves, shapes, and forms - and maybe even color. so when i finished this piece and stepped back from it, i couldn’t help but see a figure. so, to me, there is an underlying psychological aspect to my work that i haven’t quite gotten a grasp on. with all this being said, it is interesting to see how the mind and body communicate. how we do things intuitively, yet, in the end, there is some distinguishable visual that we can recognize. maybe this is just the powers of the imagination as not every viewer would see a figure - especially if they weren’t to read the title of the piece before viewing it, and this is just my imagination and my perception of the work. but also there must be some psychological aspect to it in the sense of my inner views about the figure and the body and how these inner views have somehow been visually translated into this work.

unchained melody - i will admit - is quite challenging. i have an interest in lines, curves, shapes, and forms. now, i know there is some meaning to each of these on a psychological and artistic sense, but i have yet to read up on that. for the time being, what i can say about this work is that it reminds me of the traffic and chaotic environment of new york. there is constant chaos and nowhere for the eye to rest. another thought that comes to mind is that this is just another visual representation of my mind and my inner self. someone who is all over the place, constantly trying to find themselves and trying to find where they belong in this new environment. this could be said in all my recent work. this idea of who i am and where do i belong - and if i belong. it’s kind of existential. a question of existing, living, and survival.

the idea behind rhythmic dance is like that of many of my works - or rather all my recent work. it is the gestural communication between the mind and body - whether there be a music or instrumental influence or not. I enjoy listening to music while I work because it helps me get into this mindset where I am one with the work and there isn’t anything to distract me. in ways, music can be a complement to my work. we listen to music because we have some association to it - either through the beat, the lyrics, etc. the music I listen to is streamed through pandora and spotify. I like pandora because I don’t know exactly which song will be played next; there is some idea as to the type of song, but with pandora, it can be quite unpredictable as well. If you’re so interested, I listen to alternative rock, classic rock, soul, r&b, rap, pop, punk rock, punk pop (?). basically if you went into pandora and played the radio under the topic of any one of these artists: beyonce, Ariana grande, Hayley kiyoko, Alicia keys, Aretha franklin, sam cooke, nirvana, lauryn hill, lizzo, sia, paramore, muna, pvris, 60s 70s and 80s hits, etc. hopefully this gives you an idea of what im working with. now, as I said in my statement on I found a love, the concept of music does not have to be read in what I do. it’s not something that im deeply invested in. it’s just something that I use to help bring out that creativity. music to my work is similar to going to an art museum or an art gallery or anywhere art-related and viewing art that I feel connected to. it’s just another component to the work. now, I will say that I don’t listen to music every time I work on a piece. and I also will say that I know it seems that music is something that is important to my work but I would disagree. it is more part of the process but not something I feel the viewer needs to read into. im not going to supply headphones with a set playlist for you to listen to as you view my work. while that sounds quite interesting to do, it’s something im not interested in doing. if there is anything you should get out of my work - anything at all in relation to myself - I will say that the work I produce feels like a vomiting of suppressed emotions, feelings, and thoughts. it can also be added that my work is a visual representation of how my mind works. how my mind is not something that is linear and can focus on one single aspect but rather is inspired by every little thing and therefore is in a constant tug-o-war on what style represents me or what style I wish to represent.

I found a love was created through the communication of the mind and body as a rhythm and motion - often in response to the beat of the music I was listening to at the time. it is not important for the viewer to read music in this piece, but it helps with contextualizing some of the mark makings and gestures. the colors of this piece stemmed from a want to remain simple and natural. at the beginning I wanted to produce something only in black and white - removing color altogether and challenging myself to create interesting and compelling compositions. after some discussion with fellow artists, professors, and, well, myself - I decided that if I were to add color to my compositions it should be in the most natural way. I didn’t want to include color that would be eye-popping and vibrant - nothing that would distract from the composition of the piece. now with that being said, there is nothing significant to read in this piece. well, for me, there is not. for you it may be different and I respect that. I draw inspiration from abstract expressionists, such as lee Krasner, joan Mitchell, and you can add Jackson pollock and willem de kooning as well. I also draw from jean-michel Basquiat in terms of this drawing aspect to my work. you’ll notice at the top left of this piece there is a series of eyeballs. here, is probably the only symbolic aspect of my work. the eyeballs or the eyes - however you perceive it - symbolize paranoia. it is the paranoia of myself, as both artist and person, and the work, itself. this idea that people are constantly looking at you and judging you is something very personal to me, and if it fits the work, then it will be present in some way, shape, or form.